I’ve been having a bit of an existential crisis lately. Not to
the point that I’m so much as questioning everything in my life, but more why I
have I set myself up for failure. I’m launching a book in a few weeks; I’m
throwing a launch party and have been posting the link to said book all over
social media in a bid to drum up interest. I’ve told EVERYONE – including the
bin-man and local window cleaner. I’m both excited and absolutely terrified in equal measures. I say ‘failure’ because one
of the great qualities of my personality is my ability to jump straight to the
pinnacle of anxiety by assuming the Worst Case Scenario wherever possible.
I don’t always feel this abject terror. It often comes then
leaves just as quickly; much like a selfish lover.
But I do feel it today. I feel a panic of “WHAT ARE YOU
DOING!?” / “WHO WILL READ THIS?!” / “WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SUCH AN EXPERT?!”
– all valid questions I grant you. Because
these queries buzz about my head like doubting Thomases’ around … Jesus? IDK I appreciate
I’ve gone off-piste here, but what I’m trying to say is that it makes it harder
to focus on why I am doing what I am
doing.
I have spent over a year of my spare time writing a book
about my experiences in living with Crohn’s Disease because I want to show the
wider world that there is life beyond chronic illness. When I was diagnosed I was
utterly terrified of what the future held for me; or even if there was a future. I didn’t want to live in
constant pain and I didn’t want to be ‘different’. The truth was of course, I always
had been. I just didn’t know it. I started my blog to help myself – it was a
marvellous and magical coincidence that it helped others – so now I write to
help people like you.
I don’t profess to be an ‘expert’ on all things IBD – I don’t
have an encyclopaedic medical knowledge and I don’t know what some
things/symptoms/medications feel like because I haven’t done/experienced
everything. Neither have you.
But I do know how
it feels to live with a chronic and debilitating illness. I know how it can and
does affect every aspect of your life and I know some ways to make life feel a
little bit better. Many of those ‘ways’ involve medication strong enough to
flatten an elephant but again I’m not a Doctor here so please seek medical
advice before popping pills galore. Primarily talking about your condition
helps - especially with people who love you – or/and with people who understand
what you are going through.
But haud the bus here, I’m, not giving up all my tips and tricks
away gratis! – my publisher would have my (remaining) guts for garters.
So I am probably contractually obliged to say that you can
sign up to email alerts for my book Go Your Crohn Way here:
And/or pre-order it from Amazon here:
So while I certainly struggle with the idea of actual real
life humans reading my ramblings I hope you know that I write for you and for
me; life is tough and I want to make it less tough for you if I can. That’s why
with every copy of my book will be a voucher for enough drugs to flatten an
elephant.
KIDDING, MUM.
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