Saturday 3 December 2011

Crohna Lisa

My boyfriend called me the Chrona Lisa the other night when I was feeling rough.
This is not in the slightest bit offensive to me, it conveys that he still thinks I'm lovely whilst i feel far from it. At least that's what I take from it. It's an affectionate way of laughing at my predicament. Makes me guffaw at the mere idea that I could look attractive when I can barely move and need to be undressed by him. Oh wait..I think I'm getting it now..
Anyway, this got me thinking a few things (mainly, I'm nicking that as my next blog title) but also how we, as a couple, cope with my disease. I've touched on this before in my blog, but now we having been living side by side with this Crohns squatter for over a year it's easier to get a better view of how we've both adapted to it.
I would say on the whole, with humour. We have a kind of Crohn's code for when we are together. These are not rules we have put in place, they've just developed over time. I'm not giving it away to all and sundry but one small example of this is one we use is when I'm spending longer than is usually considered 'normal' in the bathroom. He will shout up to ask "Are you bog-hogging baby?" to which I'll either reply "2 minutes!" which means I'm fine, or a flat and miserable sounding "yes.." which means I'll be here a while, you best find yourself something to do for the next few minutes/hours/days/weeks/millennia.
This makes me laugh every-time he says it. I don't know why, I think it just brings me back down to earth from my wallowing and makes me focus on my ridiculous situation.
One I like to use when we discuss dinner is what foods will or will not, "destroy me". This is Crohn-Code for 'if I eat that I will be bog-hogging for at least the next 5years and bloated to the size of a beached whale'. Cue there to get back round the oven and re-evaluate our supper plans.
Don't let these verbal high jinks fool you into thinking life at Casa Crohns is laugh-a-minute though. Unfortunately it's not - I still have Crohns therefore I still have the symptoms in amongst our banter. This means I still moan, and complain and have to sleep/go to the loo/lie down/have a cuddle at the drop of a hat.
There really is no way either of us could be content in living with my Crohn's if we both focused on the bad at all times. I suppose at least I'm never predictable.
Now I'm off to bog-hog for a bit, pass me War & Peace.

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